Well...You see....
Theres this girl I like. I mean reaaaaally like. like rawrrawr ♥♥♥... Shes something else, let me tell you.
Shes smart.
Beautiful.
Clever.
Funny.
Aggressive... In an adorable way.
Not to plagiarize or anything, but...
I absolutely love her when she smiles.
But somehow I bet you already knew all of this God.
Thank you. You've really outdone yourself with her.
Amen.
-Me
What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all around the sun. What a beautiful scene that could flash on a screen in the blink of an eye and be gone from me. Soft and sweet. Let me hold it close and keep it here with me
And one day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea. But for now we are young, let us play in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see. Love to be. In the arms of all im keeping here with me
-Jeff Mangum
Jealousy...
...is a brutal murderer, taking no hostages. Slaughtering the masses with his sharp sword and arriving when you least expect him. He can easily guide the most sane to their knees and the most wealthy to their graves. His victims know him as many names. Hell. Insanity. Envy. Shakespeare reffered to him as the Green-eyed Monster. He wears many, many masks and costumes. If you dont know what he looks like, you wont see him comming til its too late.
Who is he?
He was born second to his twin sister Love. They were a team at first. Working together and building each other. He learned many things from his older sister, such as how to disguise himself as another feeling, and how to wait til an opportune time to attack. As time went on, Jealousy became more destructive, more villianous. Now, he has become a rutheless vigilanty, picking out his next victim based on where he finds his sisters handywork.
How do you fight an opponent such as this?
Certainty?...
Trust?...
Some say that to Jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter.
-Me
Hi there blagosphere. I have come to 2 very important realizations a minute ago
1 - I havent typed anything objectable in quite some time. Everything I have typed has been very pertinent to me, and maybe one to three other people.
2 - I dont care. This is after all my blag am I right? Must I type things relavent to anyone but myself? Nope. Ok then. Thats taken care of...
On to more pressing matters like me and alyssa bakers grand (re)watching of LOST! Its turning out super awesome. She is at least halfway addicted already with more addiction to follow! Everything is going according to plan!!! bweeehhahahaha!... 12 episodes in to the first season. epic!
...What else...
Theres these weekend plans which are going to be spectacularly amazing despite the fact that we dont really have much of anything at all planned. Nothing quite like freestyling a weekend. Also theres this formal progressive dinner saturday night! Im wearing a tuxedo.
And OH YEAH! Dave moved into my house, and ill most likely be moving out at the end of a week or two when I get the cashmoney...
Welp...Thats it. byebye.
-Me
somewhere far away
news on the radio
happy birthday
happy birthday
happy birthday
Well here it is folks. The big 20. Remember when you first hit 10? The double digits? This is like double that... Holy cow, when did I become a man. Wasnt I a child yesterday who was goin to chuckycheese for a field trip with the other kids? Or that awkward teenager trying to work up the nerve to ask out a girl? HOLY CRAP! IM NOT A TEENAGER! woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........
You just witnessed an epiphany. That just hit me while typing that... I am no longer a teenager. What the heck does that mean? Am I supposed to carry myself differently? I dont feel any older... ugh now im confused. It feels like this a good time to make life changes. But, what am I supposed to change? I always remember being younger and thinking to myself how things would be different when your older. Like you almost expect your mindset to be different. When it actually comes, you find out that your mindset is the exact same. Nothing changed, really. Your the same person, but slightly older.
But anyway. I am super happy! really I am! :) Im excited to see what this year brings me for sure. Despite my bad rapport with birthdays($$$Cant think about that now. Supposed to be happy$$$), im determined that this will be the best ever!
'But not right now, im high as a cloud'
-Me
-----
-----------
Im thinking about you and just wanted to tell you how much I
like how you always know what to tell me
or how you hold my arm in the
van with my parents.
Even though its rough sometimes,
you stick with me.
Over the months, I come to realize that
under my arm, you fit nicely.
--------
----
:)
-Me
Hello!!! Welcome to another great edition of...
Dang!! I would love to start using that, but I have no idea how to use it properly...
Todays word is....----Shorty.
Shorty, or Shortay, Shawtay, is a term of endearment for a girl you like. Be warned, this word is not for the novice! Only advanced raconteurs should attempt a word of this magnitude! When spoken aloud without autotune, one may often feel awkward. If not yelled properly, you will get lots of stares from anyone in your general vicinity. I find, there is a pre-arranged way to use this word that the average person may not know. The key is to yell it, without as much volume as a yell, and with your falsetto, or 'throat' voice. It is a very difficult maneuver and can frequently leave the user in a state of sheer panic after he has realised his grave mistake! Herein lies the common rookie mistake which I, personally, have had many emails regarding. Wait no longer friends, here is the tip! If you know you butchered it and are risking dismemberment by your african-american compadres, all you have to do is this:
Step 1: This is the most important step of all!!! MAKE NO EYE CONTACT! As long as this rule is observed carefully, you have a chance. Quickly in your head, devise on a scale of one to ten, how awefull it was. 1 being T-pain, and 10 being white-nerd-with-squeeky-voice. Take that number, and if you are white, multiply it by 3. Take that number, and for each point, give yourself roughly 5 seconds of no eye contact. If you used a calculator to add up your total, go ahead and just walk away in shame...
Step 2: Square your shoulders. Tilt your head back slightly. Bring the left side of your lips up and puff them out a little bit. I find it helps to envision the superstar Bono. Or even Jim from 'The Office'.
Step 3: If shawty doesnt respond with a calm 'yeah, whatsup?' look(You know the one), Then get the heck out of there as fast as you can...
If you follow these rules, then you(YES YOU!) can be on your way to using yet another difficult american slang.
Sincerely,
-Me
Dear reader,
What do you do, when all your possible roads lead to destruction...
When all the cons heavily outweigh the pros...
