love hurts

just finished day 3. this is so freaking hard! i want my mind to have an off switch. i want the rest of me to have an off switch too...

i dont know if i can finish this. its having negative affects. lots of them.

newhobbyofsortsbesidesnotusingspacebar

Perilous Delusions
music reviews by Jacob Harris.

Nobody wants your autograph phonies!!!!!

-today was pretty cool. Went to lunch with lyssa and went to church and learned some songs and did some church work. Then met back up with her and went to pharahs house to chill and play munchkin and eat philly cheese steaks. brief version. had lots of fun.

-trying to make things happen. it seems like God is pulling on the reigns and only letting things happen at a slow rate. its annoying, but i persevere and keep praying for it.

-me

Wouldn't it be nice

-Wouldnt it be nice if we were older, then we wouldnt have to wait so long...

-me

i am destroyed

-Man, I was having such an amazing day today until this.

-Pros of the day
--Retrieved Newman from TJ and Gina with a half tank of gas.
--Got some workout supplements. Excited about that.
--Got to hang out with my girlfriend most of the day.
--Ate at kelseys, which frankly, is always a treat.
--Enjoyed the breeze$ with the windows down
--Had a really fun time watching retarded videos with phil and sarah.
--Had a good in depth convo with aforementioned girlfriend.


-Cons of the day
--My family thinks im going to quit out of my workout because I quit SO MANY other things like college and my last job.


...


-Thanks family. I knew I could count on you for support with bettering myself.

-me

if you translate the binary, it says 'I love you'

iloveyoualyssabaker

thanks aretha franklin :)

-2 days.

-just 2 more mf-ing days and ill never set my foot in that hell hole again.

-...wait a sec, i got just the thing for this.

-Fastforward above video to 1:29 for maximum effect.

-me

angry birds hit the floor tonight. Fortunately, my phone is ok.

-Hi!!!

-Cant sleep. Not tired. Uber excited. Had the most amazing last few nights.

-I love my girlfriend! She is the most amazing person, I swear.

-I have started the workout routine with tj gina and jinje and its pretty intense. Unfortunately I was called in early tomorrow so I have to wait for wednesday to start up again...

-Cant wait to get in shape and feel good and confident and healthy in my skin :)

-gnight

-me

... what comes before the cookies and cream chocolate bar...

-more whitestrips means another 30 minutes...

-so the burning question is how did Sunday night go?? Honestly I'm not entirely sure. See, I have this friend who wanted at one point to be a pastor. This friend studied his rear off and made a sermon outline and eventually preached a sermon. Unfortunately, it was aweful. But not a single person would say anything to him about it. So I've received some critics but I won't be 100% sure. So I did 3 songs sans guitar that completely sucked, then as soon as I strummed a chord, my fear melted and I was a billion times more confident about being up there. I just don't like to be up there like a crazy guy, flailing my arms everywhere. So that's that.

-I'm so tired right now. 15 minutes. Tomorrow, I'm moving crap at sandys house for a few hours so I can earn some cashmoney. My savings kinda suicided somehow so that should help alot. Sandy is super cool to work for anyway.

-I can't wait for tomorrow night!!!!! Incredibleness <3

-Gnight

-me

Growly

-Tomorrow is the freakin day. Playing a Sunday night service and I'm totally ready but a bit nervous.

-I have crest whitestrips in my mouth so excuse the typing.... yes.

-Listening to two weeks by Grizzly bear. That Song is audible sunshine for my face. 5 minutes til I can take these monstrosities off my teeth...

-Well katrinas prank threw me for a loop... that was really unexpected. I'm not looking forward to missing overflow service tomorrow at all but I'll do what has to be done. Fastforward 2 tracks to cheerleader...

-you know. you know oh oh... :)

-two minutes left...

-ok screw it. They are coming off right now. Gnight

-me

Excited :D

-Tonight I led a song for Wednesday night service. Things are heating up with this job opportunity to lead worship at a nearby church. I really need this. Its the next step I've been dying to take. The next step towards my dreams. I'm really excited and I can't wait for alyssa to get excited with me! :)

-My dreams are so close, I can feel it. Thank you God!!

-I'm getting ready to lead an entire Sunday night service in a few days.

-shouldn't be too much longer now :)

-me

+ or -

-Chillin on the couch again.

-2:33 am

-Goin to give blood tomorrow. Need sleep -___-

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-thinking about the means to which I find true happiness and how shallow it seems if I look at it through a certain lens. If you take an aweful event like... i dont know, a little girl dying. It could be a huge tragedy, but at the same time, you could look at it through a different perspective and see that it could be beautiful. Maybe its a poetic death, or she died in the arms of ones she loved or she died in surgery to donate a kidney to save someone. Know what I mean? Is there a good way to look at everything? Or is it purely situational. I know its possible to look at everything that happens to you, even good, great things, and somehow pit it against yourself as a curse. Ive seen it done when old people get bitter. They could win a thousand bucks and somehow manage to complain about it. I guess it really boils down to optimism vs pessimism. Underlying thoughts have to be positive about your negative situation or you go negative about your negative situation. Then, when your situation turns positive, you will still be negative, and thats called being bitter. Positivity. I know it only works to an extent. You cant just go around being positive about everything, or people hate you, avoid you, screw with your head, etc... How bout Job in the bible. His life legitimately sucked. bad. Everyone died and he lost all his property and was diseased. Mental, physical, and emotional destruction. As low as you can go. He was not a positive man after that. He was entirely broken and negative until he came to his magic epiphany near the end of his 40 chapters of complaining. His story turned out all right.

-Solved my own thoughts

-The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

-...+

-gnight.

-me

usoPreviewPopup

Hilight - Trancelucid robber celular pony cubes. Hi in fibre!!

-Well I laid in bed for like 2 hours and that got really boring so im on the couch listening to Radio Dept. and watching a really bizarre infomercial selling the "Shark VacSteem!" I think theres actually an exclamation point in the title of the product. Hm it really does a good job on that tile floor. dang. mood=excited. Did you know that 25% of american homes have salmonilla virus on the floor? wow. mood=bored.

-Today was pretty awesome. Was feeling down a bit at first but alyssa and grizzly bear cheered me up. Got alyssas dress for sarahs wedding picked out and it looks amazing on her! mood=thoughtful-happy. We went to chilis and the service was so sucky. I pulled the boyfriend-who-gets-stuff-done card and complained and we got a free meal! Then the ride back was super nice! mood=reminiscent

-Really looking forward to the indian river festival. Id like to grab alyssa and dissapear atop the ferris wheel for a few hours... I think I will! mood=super-excited

-Holy moly they have the same technology in a handheld scrubber! Shes washing plain wooden cabinetry with it now!! ......... mood=awkward

-Jt is selling the store tomorrow and im not exactly sure if ill have a job or not. Me and dan shared a moment in which we both realized it might be the last time we ever work together. Im kinda missing those days working with bo, jonathan, dan, and james. Those will always be a highlight to my life.

-That word. Highlight. They should change the spelling cause the double gh looks stupid. Hilight. nah looks too much like Twilight. Highlite. Yeah thatll work...

-Check it out! Its the samsung Hilight ^^

-I just googled hilight and posted some of the amusing ones like the album art of the band hilight which their lead guitar player looks like a panzy just sayin...

http://anddive.blogspot.com/ ...<--for jon if you cant view pics in your feed :)

-gnight

-Hi fibre pony cubes? really?

-me

usoPreviewPopup

Worst song of 2011

Worst song of the year goes to

Jessie J!!!!

for her masterwork

Price Tag (feat B.O.B.)

What an aweful song. Lyrics include 'When the truth comes second, just stop for a second and smile'. Yeah smiling just makes all the worlds problems better... If your gonna sing a song about world betterment, copy John Mayer or heck, even Lennon did a good job. So many gimmicks here I dont even want to go into it. I pitty whoever takes financial advice out the little nuggets in this song. After all, 'We just wanna make the world dance, forget about the pricetag'. B.o.b.'s uninspired rap was sooo rediculous. In almost parodical fashion, he stops the song and says bring the beat back. Wow I havent heard that one before... The mix is out of wack like the sound engineer had a gun to his head. I feel bad listening to it right now. A headache is developing just to write this. I think im gonna throw up. Luckily Wiz Khalifa is in the related videos so I dont actually die.

-me

usoPreviewPopup

12 paces to my left

-Girl, you be killin em.

...

-So just got back from camping and im at dans house typing on his computer while hes sleeping in his parents room. Alyssa is in dans room sleeping and im on the sofa. Well technically im not, but I will be if I sleep. Im trying to keep my mind off the fact that shes sleeping 12 paces to my left. Typing it is not really helping either. 

-Dichotomy: Choice A and B.

A: Wait here and get tired then sleep.

or

B: Wake her up and then... do what exactly... Curl up next to her. yeah that would be amazing. Im not even particularly interested in sex right now. well I am, but in this context, im just lonely. I swear I wouldnt do anything, I just want her next to me. Thats all really. Is that inherently evil in and of itself or is it just that fact that it could very easily ruin our lives...

-Ill go with A.

-Hrmmmmm..... This is difficult.

-goodnight

Edit 3:45am -This decision would be so much easier if the sofa wasnt so dang uncomfortable...

Free typing session #1. 5 minutes. Go!

Streets and lights and beautiful girls in front of them. running down the street but not chasing anything but a white rabbit through time. The watch is pulled from the pocket but the time is completely wrong. Back in pocket and scurry down the path toward the sunset. Now eclipsed but not entirely. Theres a sliver of the sun peeking out behind the huge moon. The africans in their huts enjoy the view better than anyone for you see, they have found the secret to happiness. Seclusion with people they love. Privacy. I cant get any privacy. Its difficult in large families to get that privacy that everyone needs. What do you do? How do you do? Good day to you sir. British people. I dont like their humour but I like adding extra u's to words like colour and humour. I like colours. I see them in things noone else does. Where they actualy arent, there really are but noone can tell but me. Its just a different view from my eyes I suppose. Your eyes might see something entirely different then mine but I might never actually know. How could I? My eyes are mine alone and yours are yours. What belongs to you doesnt belong to me at all unless you were to give it to me. dont ever let people borrow something when you know they wont give it back. It just might make you bitter. You might hold a grudge. Grunge. Metal is lame. Its for stoners and guys who need to feel super manly. Manly men are pretty lame anyway. Who can stand to be around one for longer than 10 seconds without beating him with a 2 by 4. 2 by 4s hurt my hands badly.

-Thats 5 minutes of typing as fast as I can whatever pops in my head. And they say girls are random. sheesh.

-So yeah I read that free writting sessions help reduce stress(key) and maybe unearth something you didnt know about yourself. I dont know about that last one but ok. If you see any deep psychological meaning to the above, feel free to drop a comment.

-Anyone have the Sandmans calling card? I could use sleep.

-Seriously though I dont expect you to read all that up there...

-Nighty-night blag

-Me

I suck

-Well... I suck. Oh I might as well type that in the title bar real quick since it seems to fit the occasion so nicely...

-There. Now I dont have to worry about a title.

-Now to the reasons for this.

-Numbah 1. My brain is retarted! It wont let me sleep. Less than 5 hours a night for the past 4 days. Its been giving me bad driving directions and complicating simple thoughts. Its been plastering 1 thing on my mind continuously against my will! (Ill give you one guess...) It also makes me second guess things alot. It makes me randomly jealous and I read too far into things that are just stupid for me to go into. Im fed up with my brain in general. Tradesies anyone?

-Numbah 2. Ive been feeling very lonely lately...

-Completely(possibly) unrelated: My extended family will be arriving any minute now. yaaay. (<-sarcasm... /cry) So Im going to be incognito as much as possible the next week. I dont want them to see me at all. Im aiming for 100% avoidance. Might be difficult considering I have 3 dollars to get me through to friday and im going to need food and a place to sleep(notsleep). This is going to be the week from hell if Im not able to sleep soon.

-Numbah 3. I really love music, but sometimes I absolutely hate that I love it so much. It makes me unable to enjoy what everyone sans me enjoys. I cant get thrills from most rock music. I head bang to rhythms with odd timesignatures. I am teh lame. Most people listen to bands noones ever heard of because they derive some sort of pleasure from being elitist morons. I loathe this. Its like a disease with no cure. I cant enjoy breaking benjamin, or other such rock bands and I have a really hard time enjoying skillet(Honestly you have no idea how bad I want to love them). It absolutely erks me to death that I cant just listen and bob my head and be happy. nope. i gotta be lame and listen to music that most people cant get through a single song because somehow, my ears find that enjoyable.

-The hardest part of the above is that I cant blame anyone. Who do you blame for your taste in things? God? Yourself? Your parents? Deffinately not parents... I guess me then. Or half God, half me. I dont really know... I guess God could have made me a country music nut or something...

-That feels good to get off my chest.

-Fingers crossed for sleep. Ive been psyching myself up for sleep and something else all day. 'Something else' didnt happen so lets see how sleep goes.

-Me

Sorrow

-I have never truely understood the meaning of the word until today. I actually ached and cried a bit. I'm alone in my thoughts, but luckily I'm not alone.

-It's 4:30. I got Sunday school tomorrow morning. Goodnight.

-Me

radio silence...

-Well I completely screwed up what could have been a great day.

-I could have just changed the subject or ignored it like any normal person but I persevered!!! and consequently failed miserably.

-of coarse. so where does that leave me?

-well im collecting my thoughts. whatever the hell that means...

-talked with dan, and as usual he read my mind, and put me at ease and helped me objectively view the situation and sort through it. I think i know what i will do tomorrow also...

-If only my mind worked properly, then I wouldnt be in 'radio silence' mode with the girl i love...

-sigh... *hangs head*

-fingers crossed for sleep tonight. chances arent looking good...

-me

R.I.P. Newman (maybe?)

-Bad News:::My car is deadzees. It almost died at bcc. There was smoke everywhere and stuff. Drove it home, worked on it a little, ok its fine. Drove it to alyssas and back, no prob! Drove it to taco bell with jinje at 12:30, it practicaly explodes.... It was definitely overheated despite the fact that me and alyssa filled it up with water friday. It was a heck of an awkward call to my dad to ask him to come get me from taco bell. at 12:30...

-Good news:::Taco bell has a delicious new burrito that has fritos on it for a buck!!!!!!!!!!

-*sigh*

-Me

she makes me come alive, and makes me wanna drive when she says...

-caaaaaan you feeeel the looooooove tooooniiiiight

something soooomethiiiiing ooooooooohhhhhhhhh

daaaa daa daaaaaaaaaaaa da kings and vagabonds

na naaaa naaaaaaa somethiiiiiing toooooooo

-i really dont know the words to that song... I was more of an aladdin kid.

-so anyhow, i dropped drawing and i kept graphic design.

-hold on let me put on music.

-my dad is going to talk to pastor and get things in motion and soon I will be an official intern at FBCMims. Ill be learning the ropes on choir leading, pro-presenter on mac, and making a setlist and generaly everything else a worship leader does. I think as a side thing im taking over wednesday night worship myself.

-i have to learn how to sing. like really sing. sing good. i think if its where God wants me, he will help me be able to learn.

-the best song every written from a guys perspective about relationships. It describes how most guys feel in the relationship as well as what every guy wants in a girl. its raw insight into a guys mind. Kick it on and pretend its the 60s :)

-I believe that song was written by a guy about the girl of his dreams. shes supportive, she worries about him, she comforts him, she brings out all his best qualities and stands by his side.

-I swear that phrase is pure magic. Dont worry baby, everything will turn out alright. alyssa, memorize that and use it next time im worried or something lol!

-I wish whenever I said the word baby, my voice would magicaly be replaced by his... it sounds so smoothe and soft!

-not looking forward to tomorrow at all... wish i could fastforward to wednesday.

-me

confused.

-dont know what to write. everything seems ok.

-no. scratch that. hmmmmm...

-well. alot of things are great. a few things arent...

-i really wish i was making more money. to do that, you need a job that actually pays. you need a degree. you need to know people. you need a skill. i currently have none of these things but im trying to make it a priority.

-im toying with the idea of dropping out of school. at least dropping my classes while i can still get out relatively cheap. i dont want this degree. like at all. i dont want any degree at all but man alive i want a good paying job. you see my predicament here? the money making jobs are the ones where the degrees/jobs suck. the ones i actually want to do, dont pay. but then again life sucks. you dont get to have your cake and eat it too. not in life. you gotta do what you dont want to do.

-but what is progress for the sake of progress? its not a step forward. specially if i end up in debt because of it. then instead of a step sideways, its more of a step backwards. why didnt god give me a natural inclination for something like molecular biology or something that would put food on the table. not music. music is a dime a dozen. its cheap. why didnt i get something useful. an inclination towards medical would even be cool. but nope. i dont want anything to do with it. medical? no. engineering? nope. business? negative. i got nothin.

-I would so much rather do a job im happy with that doesnt pay much but that is sooooo frowned upon. your supposed to do a job you hate that breaks your back and come home to a beautiful women who massages you. at least thats what everyone does. alyssas parents are extremely financially driven.

-it would make perfect sense. the one thing i dont care about is the one thing they care about most. i can give her anything she wants. i will always love her and be there for her but that doesnt matter. she lives in a nice house and has a nice car. who needs love. she has her medical expenses covered.

-financial peace? i would rather be in debt up to my eyes and be in love.

-i wasnt raised like you. ends barely met. barely. love was emphasized. not something thats backburner to money. how could you possibly put money in front of love. it does not make sense. read, does not compute. read, blows my mind. i will never understand it.

-but if thats how it is. then where does that leave me? am i forced to get a crap job and just man up and deal with it? can i do something i love instead? is there middle ground?

-im really confused. i dont want to be stuck in date mode forever. im so beyond ready to get married. i want life to freakin happen already. i just wish i could figure out what to do... im gonna talk to you tomorrow about this. so please understand if i ask you to skip dancing so we can figure some of this out. i need life to change drasticaly and im willing to do whatever it takes. it just needs to be done. im tired of beating around the bush. i want a solid plan where i can say for absolute certain that i can have a good paying job and be financialy stable within this set amount of time. i want to be able to look you in the eyes and feel like im honestly doing everything i can to make this happen for us. right now though, i cant say that. you deserve more.

-me

breathe in, and sigh.....

I am rediculous...

:/

Friday

-I dont care if Mondays black

-Tuesday, Wednesday, heart attack

-Thursday, never looking back

-Its Friday, Im in Love!

-Saturday wait...

-Sunday always comes too late

-But Friday never hesitate

-Monday you can hold your head

-Tuesday, Wednesday, stay in bed

-Thursday, watch the walls instead

-Its Friday, Im in Love!


-The Cure/Me

New series: Music moments 1 and 2

Starting a new series called music moments. You know when you listen to a song and something completely unexpected happens and you almost have a mini heart-attack just listening in anticipation for the climax of that wonderful moment? Im cataloging a few of those moments and will do my best to describe the amount of wonderful delight I found within. As a note, these are in no particular order. Its not my favorite to least favorite or anything. So without further adue -

Music moment 1 - God is an Astronaut - Suicide by Star - 3:43



This song seems to be pretty mundane at first. Just solid drum beat and guitar riff rambling atop of synthesizers and an eery feeling of being lost in space. But like right at 2:53 everything gets slammed into fastforward as the astronaut on the video starts suffocating. Guitars slam on distortion and drummer gets a bit crazier but the real magic is at 3:43. The whole band in unision gets really angsty. The drummer kicks in 16th note reels giving the feeling of your heart racing while the guitars maintain the attacks on your ear drums. The synthesizer plays the hook wee-oooh line so perfectly and you feel like you could run a marathon or punch a hobo...



Music moment 2 - Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand in Mine - 4:40



Starting with reverby guitar line sounds cliche especially in post-rock music but its different because its explosions. They pretty much invented rock driven post-rock if that makes sense to anyone but myself. -_-... The guitar line is very serene and calming. Beautiful. Erupts into full band awesomeness at 1:15 which is fulfilling but only for a moment as they fade back out for the guitar to carry his loneliness a tad further. Then BAM! 2:29 sees a different guitar riff. Similar to the previous but somehow remolded. Reborn into something stronger, durable, with more potential. Guitar number 2 comes in with a suplement and the drummer with his cadence like snare helps push the song into a buildup. Around 4 minutes, the band gets into a swag that everyone is comfortable with. Second guitar player starts a quick picking line and gives the illusion that something is happening until our music moment number 2 happens. 4:40 Gives away to a huge shimmering guitar and a drum rolling backup that lifts your soul into an area you havent been in a while. Imagine you and the one you love jumping into eternal happiness together hand in hand.

clint eastwood

-Well today was a heck of a day!

-I think my favorite part was drawing stick figures with alyssa! Had a great time with her "and dan" at "burger king".

-The tacos were good...

-Um. tomorrow is my first day of college. im remaining neutral towards it. Im not anxious. Im not nervous. Im not dreading. Im just not feeling anything right now for college.

-I aint happy. Im feelin glad. I got sunshine in a bag. god im useless, but not for long, my future is comin on. -gorillaz/clint eastwood

-thats all i have right now

-Me

wait! i read it!

- i think i get what your trying to say.

- hope you sleep well

- i love you

- go easy on me. its new to me too.

-Me

Motherfucking Blue Like Jazz

-Stumbled on a friend of a relatives blog and he writtes poetryish stuff. Im posting one I found most intriguing... I think it dates back a little ways to like early last year explaining the Haiti Tsunami reference.

-Warning to the overly sensative to language type people, He uses profanity, get over it...

------------------


Motherfucking Blue Like Jazz
(Inspired by the twenty-something, bleeding heart, post-modern, turn-to-christ crowd. Note- "Divine Bang" in homage to Allen Ginsberg.)


You sit. Sit!
cushy chairs, crying for Jesus Christ.
You cry, cry.
Haiti! Tsunami! Bologna! Save them all.
from cushy church chairs.
Post Modern. Modern-Modern. Post-Punk,
Christian Hardcore - Porn.

You’ve lost me.
* * *

Jesus sits to the right hand of God
(Ginsberg’s Divine Bang)
“I swear,
these fuckers have lost their way.”
God nods off...
He continues-
“And don’t tell me they are sheep!
even sheep wouldn’t follow a post-modern
shepherd.”

God turns.
"I don't understand your
hippie babble."

Jesus mutters something about God
"Being so Old Testament..."
* * *
And we conclude with an
earthly conversation:

Define yourself-
-Well, I am a man
dreams and spirit?-
-No, flesh and blood
saved by grace.

No, sir, you don’t exist-

------------------------------


-Heres a link to his site http://andrewjamesjohns.blogspot.com/

-Read 'The Snake'

-Me

the unsuspecting witness chronicles

-Say you witness something. Or stumble accross information that you wish you never knew. You cant really unlearn it or wish it away. So you just block it out of your mind and never think of it again right? Pretend it never happened.

-But is that such a good idea?

-Perhaps you should confront the person? But what if it doesnt really matter anymore. Is it worth digging up old bones for the sake of getting it off your chest?

-It may not be pertinent. It might be. Specially if it affects someone you know and love. Or does it? What they dont know wont hurt them.

-I think maybe its that persons burden and not my own. Ill let them continue to deal with it as they see fit. I would imagine they wouldve taken the time to think it over to arrive at their own conclusion. So thats it then.

-Put it out of your mind. Easy as that? Well not easy. But it has to be done. Never think of it again. Bury it. Dont mark it with an X for later.

-Me

Welcome to Level 2

-Just downloaded all of Yo La Tengos discography and giving it a listen. So far so good :)

-Giving up mountain dew. again. should be easy.

-Finished Persons unknown. Its really good but the ending erked me because its set up perfectly for a sequel season without a guarantee that there will actually be a second season. A little less conspiracy setup than lost had going at the end but still oddly gripping.

-Going to outback tomorrow with friends and girlfriend! yay!!!

-So ive been having trouble sleeping lately. alot of trouble. Also some real creepy dreams... I cant seem to get to sleep but when I do, im out til like after noon. Aggrivating to say the least. In fact im blogging at 3am because i cant sleep! booooo :(

-Tonight was fun. Had a great time joking around with alyssa on my couch! hahaha

-Paul is an interesting character. Watching him and dan together is pretty freaking hilarious to be honest.

-Its so hot in my house. The fan is running on medium which is the most tolerable speed to noise ratio.

-(this paragraph deleted because censoring it would take too long...)

-ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm so much garbage going through my head right now. for example:

-I want to go to a theme park. really bad. I havent been to one in a long time it feels. Islands of adventure anyone? Harry potter universe thing is there and so is marvel superhero island! That would be so much fun to go there.

-(deleted this one too...)

-(and this one. there are some things noone needs to know but me.)

-erm. cant think of anything else to type in. goodnight

-Me

Yo La Tengo

-Ive been without my computer for like a whole week. I hate to sound like one of those technology addiction issue people but man I reaaaally like my laptop.

-Life is good.

-Have to work tomorrow and im kinda not wanting to.

-I had to move the model home today. Its a home in the great outdoors that they use for hooking people to buy a house if they are unsure. The house is fully furnished with HFs rediculously overpriced, somewhat falsely represented furniture. So yeah we moved a house today. 4 loads. And its literally right across the street so its not like we got a break or anything to drive. Got it all done in 7 hours so at 8 bucks an hour thats like 50 bucks after taxes. boooooo.

- :(

-Mom and Dad are out. They left for music florida conference in orlando. Mom will be back wednesday and dad will be back friday. Angelina is with the Willis'. So me and jinje got the house except for g-ma and lisa. So basically jinje has the house minus the tv...

-I miss alyssa.

-Im hearing strange noises in my house... Its eerie

-Its not so much that im a clingy person, its just that I want her around. I guess that only comes with marriage huh? rats... I am very much a family man. I want a family and to do things with a family. And dont say 'but you have a family...'

-need music badly brb...

-yo la tengo - You can have it all. Nifty little jingle here. alot of 'buh buh buhbuh' vocal stuff in the background. pretty cool sounding. very layed back without trying to be layed back... if that makes sense...

-note to self: download more yo la tengo

-singing off. byebye

-Me