Nobody wants your autograph phonies!!!!!

-today was pretty cool. Went to lunch with lyssa and went to church and learned some songs and did some church work. Then met back up with her and went to pharahs house to chill and play munchkin and eat philly cheese steaks. brief version. had lots of fun.

-trying to make things happen. it seems like God is pulling on the reigns and only letting things happen at a slow rate. its annoying, but i persevere and keep praying for it.

-me

Wouldn't it be nice

-Wouldnt it be nice if we were older, then we wouldnt have to wait so long...

-me

i am destroyed

-Man, I was having such an amazing day today until this.

-Pros of the day
--Retrieved Newman from TJ and Gina with a half tank of gas.
--Got some workout supplements. Excited about that.
--Got to hang out with my girlfriend most of the day.
--Ate at kelseys, which frankly, is always a treat.
--Enjoyed the breeze$ with the windows down
--Had a really fun time watching retarded videos with phil and sarah.
--Had a good in depth convo with aforementioned girlfriend.


-Cons of the day
--My family thinks im going to quit out of my workout because I quit SO MANY other things like college and my last job.


...


-Thanks family. I knew I could count on you for support with bettering myself.

-me

thanks aretha franklin :)

-2 days.

-just 2 more mf-ing days and ill never set my foot in that hell hole again.

-...wait a sec, i got just the thing for this.

-Fastforward above video to 1:29 for maximum effect.

-me

angry birds hit the floor tonight. Fortunately, my phone is ok.

-Hi!!!

-Cant sleep. Not tired. Uber excited. Had the most amazing last few nights.

-I love my girlfriend! She is the most amazing person, I swear.

-I have started the workout routine with tj gina and jinje and its pretty intense. Unfortunately I was called in early tomorrow so I have to wait for wednesday to start up again...

-Cant wait to get in shape and feel good and confident and healthy in my skin :)

-gnight

-me

... what comes before the cookies and cream chocolate bar...

-more whitestrips means another 30 minutes...

-so the burning question is how did Sunday night go?? Honestly I'm not entirely sure. See, I have this friend who wanted at one point to be a pastor. This friend studied his rear off and made a sermon outline and eventually preached a sermon. Unfortunately, it was aweful. But not a single person would say anything to him about it. So I've received some critics but I won't be 100% sure. So I did 3 songs sans guitar that completely sucked, then as soon as I strummed a chord, my fear melted and I was a billion times more confident about being up there. I just don't like to be up there like a crazy guy, flailing my arms everywhere. So that's that.

-I'm so tired right now. 15 minutes. Tomorrow, I'm moving crap at sandys house for a few hours so I can earn some cashmoney. My savings kinda suicided somehow so that should help alot. Sandy is super cool to work for anyway.

-I can't wait for tomorrow night!!!!! Incredibleness <3

-Gnight

-me

Growly

-Tomorrow is the freakin day. Playing a Sunday night service and I'm totally ready but a bit nervous.

-I have crest whitestrips in my mouth so excuse the typing.... yes.

-Listening to two weeks by Grizzly bear. That Song is audible sunshine for my face. 5 minutes til I can take these monstrosities off my teeth...

-Well katrinas prank threw me for a loop... that was really unexpected. I'm not looking forward to missing overflow service tomorrow at all but I'll do what has to be done. Fastforward 2 tracks to cheerleader...

-you know. you know oh oh... :)

-two minutes left...

-ok screw it. They are coming off right now. Gnight

-me

Excited :D

-Tonight I led a song for Wednesday night service. Things are heating up with this job opportunity to lead worship at a nearby church. I really need this. Its the next step I've been dying to take. The next step towards my dreams. I'm really excited and I can't wait for alyssa to get excited with me! :)

-My dreams are so close, I can feel it. Thank you God!!

-I'm getting ready to lead an entire Sunday night service in a few days.

-shouldn't be too much longer now :)

-me

Hilight - Trancelucid robber celular pony cubes. Hi in fibre!!

-Well I laid in bed for like 2 hours and that got really boring so im on the couch listening to Radio Dept. and watching a really bizarre infomercial selling the "Shark VacSteem!" I think theres actually an exclamation point in the title of the product. Hm it really does a good job on that tile floor. dang. mood=excited. Did you know that 25% of american homes have salmonilla virus on the floor? wow. mood=bored.

-Today was pretty awesome. Was feeling down a bit at first but alyssa and grizzly bear cheered me up. Got alyssas dress for sarahs wedding picked out and it looks amazing on her! mood=thoughtful-happy. We went to chilis and the service was so sucky. I pulled the boyfriend-who-gets-stuff-done card and complained and we got a free meal! Then the ride back was super nice! mood=reminiscent

-Really looking forward to the indian river festival. Id like to grab alyssa and dissapear atop the ferris wheel for a few hours... I think I will! mood=super-excited

-Holy moly they have the same technology in a handheld scrubber! Shes washing plain wooden cabinetry with it now!! ......... mood=awkward

-Jt is selling the store tomorrow and im not exactly sure if ill have a job or not. Me and dan shared a moment in which we both realized it might be the last time we ever work together. Im kinda missing those days working with bo, jonathan, dan, and james. Those will always be a highlight to my life.

-That word. Highlight. They should change the spelling cause the double gh looks stupid. Hilight. nah looks too much like Twilight. Highlite. Yeah thatll work...

-Check it out! Its the samsung Hilight ^^

-I just googled hilight and posted some of the amusing ones like the album art of the band hilight which their lead guitar player looks like a panzy just sayin...

http://anddive.blogspot.com/ ...<--for jon if you cant view pics in your feed :)

-gnight

-Hi fibre pony cubes? really?

-me

usoPreviewPopup

12 paces to my left

-Girl, you be killin em.

...

-So just got back from camping and im at dans house typing on his computer while hes sleeping in his parents room. Alyssa is in dans room sleeping and im on the sofa. Well technically im not, but I will be if I sleep. Im trying to keep my mind off the fact that shes sleeping 12 paces to my left. Typing it is not really helping either. 

-Dichotomy: Choice A and B.

A: Wait here and get tired then sleep.

or

B: Wake her up and then... do what exactly... Curl up next to her. yeah that would be amazing. Im not even particularly interested in sex right now. well I am, but in this context, im just lonely. I swear I wouldnt do anything, I just want her next to me. Thats all really. Is that inherently evil in and of itself or is it just that fact that it could very easily ruin our lives...

-Ill go with A.

-Hrmmmmm..... This is difficult.

-goodnight

Edit 3:45am -This decision would be so much easier if the sofa wasnt so dang uncomfortable...

I suck

-Well... I suck. Oh I might as well type that in the title bar real quick since it seems to fit the occasion so nicely...

-There. Now I dont have to worry about a title.

-Now to the reasons for this.

-Numbah 1. My brain is retarted! It wont let me sleep. Less than 5 hours a night for the past 4 days. Its been giving me bad driving directions and complicating simple thoughts. Its been plastering 1 thing on my mind continuously against my will! (Ill give you one guess...) It also makes me second guess things alot. It makes me randomly jealous and I read too far into things that are just stupid for me to go into. Im fed up with my brain in general. Tradesies anyone?

-Numbah 2. Ive been feeling very lonely lately...

-Completely(possibly) unrelated: My extended family will be arriving any minute now. yaaay. (<-sarcasm... /cry) So Im going to be incognito as much as possible the next week. I dont want them to see me at all. Im aiming for 100% avoidance. Might be difficult considering I have 3 dollars to get me through to friday and im going to need food and a place to sleep(notsleep). This is going to be the week from hell if Im not able to sleep soon.

-Numbah 3. I really love music, but sometimes I absolutely hate that I love it so much. It makes me unable to enjoy what everyone sans me enjoys. I cant get thrills from most rock music. I head bang to rhythms with odd timesignatures. I am teh lame. Most people listen to bands noones ever heard of because they derive some sort of pleasure from being elitist morons. I loathe this. Its like a disease with no cure. I cant enjoy breaking benjamin, or other such rock bands and I have a really hard time enjoying skillet(Honestly you have no idea how bad I want to love them). It absolutely erks me to death that I cant just listen and bob my head and be happy. nope. i gotta be lame and listen to music that most people cant get through a single song because somehow, my ears find that enjoyable.

-The hardest part of the above is that I cant blame anyone. Who do you blame for your taste in things? God? Yourself? Your parents? Deffinately not parents... I guess me then. Or half God, half me. I dont really know... I guess God could have made me a country music nut or something...

-That feels good to get off my chest.

-Fingers crossed for sleep. Ive been psyching myself up for sleep and something else all day. 'Something else' didnt happen so lets see how sleep goes.

-Me

R.I.P. Newman (maybe?)

-Bad News:::My car is deadzees. It almost died at bcc. There was smoke everywhere and stuff. Drove it home, worked on it a little, ok its fine. Drove it to alyssas and back, no prob! Drove it to taco bell with jinje at 12:30, it practicaly explodes.... It was definitely overheated despite the fact that me and alyssa filled it up with water friday. It was a heck of an awkward call to my dad to ask him to come get me from taco bell. at 12:30...

-Good news:::Taco bell has a delicious new burrito that has fritos on it for a buck!!!!!!!!!!

-*sigh*

-Me

she makes me come alive, and makes me wanna drive when she says...

-caaaaaan you feeeel the looooooove tooooniiiiight

something soooomethiiiiing ooooooooohhhhhhhhh

daaaa daa daaaaaaaaaaaa da kings and vagabonds

na naaaa naaaaaaa somethiiiiiing toooooooo

-i really dont know the words to that song... I was more of an aladdin kid.

-so anyhow, i dropped drawing and i kept graphic design.

-hold on let me put on music.

-my dad is going to talk to pastor and get things in motion and soon I will be an official intern at FBCMims. Ill be learning the ropes on choir leading, pro-presenter on mac, and making a setlist and generaly everything else a worship leader does. I think as a side thing im taking over wednesday night worship myself.

-i have to learn how to sing. like really sing. sing good. i think if its where God wants me, he will help me be able to learn.

-the best song every written from a guys perspective about relationships. It describes how most guys feel in the relationship as well as what every guy wants in a girl. its raw insight into a guys mind. Kick it on and pretend its the 60s :)

-I believe that song was written by a guy about the girl of his dreams. shes supportive, she worries about him, she comforts him, she brings out all his best qualities and stands by his side.

-I swear that phrase is pure magic. Dont worry baby, everything will turn out alright. alyssa, memorize that and use it next time im worried or something lol!

-I wish whenever I said the word baby, my voice would magicaly be replaced by his... it sounds so smoothe and soft!

-not looking forward to tomorrow at all... wish i could fastforward to wednesday.

-me

Friday

-I dont care if Mondays black

-Tuesday, Wednesday, heart attack

-Thursday, never looking back

-Its Friday, Im in Love!

-Saturday wait...

-Sunday always comes too late

-But Friday never hesitate

-Monday you can hold your head

-Tuesday, Wednesday, stay in bed

-Thursday, watch the walls instead

-Its Friday, Im in Love!


-The Cure/Me

clint eastwood

-Well today was a heck of a day!

-I think my favorite part was drawing stick figures with alyssa! Had a great time with her "and dan" at "burger king".

-The tacos were good...

-Um. tomorrow is my first day of college. im remaining neutral towards it. Im not anxious. Im not nervous. Im not dreading. Im just not feeling anything right now for college.

-I aint happy. Im feelin glad. I got sunshine in a bag. god im useless, but not for long, my future is comin on. -gorillaz/clint eastwood

-thats all i have right now

-Me

Welcome to Level 2

-Just downloaded all of Yo La Tengos discography and giving it a listen. So far so good :)

-Giving up mountain dew. again. should be easy.

-Finished Persons unknown. Its really good but the ending erked me because its set up perfectly for a sequel season without a guarantee that there will actually be a second season. A little less conspiracy setup than lost had going at the end but still oddly gripping.

-Going to outback tomorrow with friends and girlfriend! yay!!!

-So ive been having trouble sleeping lately. alot of trouble. Also some real creepy dreams... I cant seem to get to sleep but when I do, im out til like after noon. Aggrivating to say the least. In fact im blogging at 3am because i cant sleep! booooo :(

-Tonight was fun. Had a great time joking around with alyssa on my couch! hahaha

-Paul is an interesting character. Watching him and dan together is pretty freaking hilarious to be honest.

-Its so hot in my house. The fan is running on medium which is the most tolerable speed to noise ratio.

-(this paragraph deleted because censoring it would take too long...)

-ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm so much garbage going through my head right now. for example:

-I want to go to a theme park. really bad. I havent been to one in a long time it feels. Islands of adventure anyone? Harry potter universe thing is there and so is marvel superhero island! That would be so much fun to go there.

-(deleted this one too...)

-(and this one. there are some things noone needs to know but me.)

-erm. cant think of anything else to type in. goodnight

-Me

Yo La Tengo

-Ive been without my computer for like a whole week. I hate to sound like one of those technology addiction issue people but man I reaaaally like my laptop.

-Life is good.

-Have to work tomorrow and im kinda not wanting to.

-I had to move the model home today. Its a home in the great outdoors that they use for hooking people to buy a house if they are unsure. The house is fully furnished with HFs rediculously overpriced, somewhat falsely represented furniture. So yeah we moved a house today. 4 loads. And its literally right across the street so its not like we got a break or anything to drive. Got it all done in 7 hours so at 8 bucks an hour thats like 50 bucks after taxes. boooooo.

- :(

-Mom and Dad are out. They left for music florida conference in orlando. Mom will be back wednesday and dad will be back friday. Angelina is with the Willis'. So me and jinje got the house except for g-ma and lisa. So basically jinje has the house minus the tv...

-I miss alyssa.

-Im hearing strange noises in my house... Its eerie

-Its not so much that im a clingy person, its just that I want her around. I guess that only comes with marriage huh? rats... I am very much a family man. I want a family and to do things with a family. And dont say 'but you have a family...'

-need music badly brb...

-yo la tengo - You can have it all. Nifty little jingle here. alot of 'buh buh buhbuh' vocal stuff in the background. pretty cool sounding. very layed back without trying to be layed back... if that makes sense...

-note to self: download more yo la tengo

-singing off. byebye

-Me

Second Pillar

...

And the second pillar has fallen today. Well last night really.

I guess people break up all the time. Its not like breaking up is a bad thing or whatever. I mean who wants to be stuck with the wrong person for more time than you have to be. And life moves on. People break up. Even the ones you swear are so good together. That scares me a little but yeah thats the cold hard reality of it.

Jennill

Jenniphil.

No wait... Philiffer...

Good luck to you both and stuff.

On the other hand, Its refreshing to see people make wise and healthy relationship choices for a change! I admire phils bravery and honesty in this and jenns understanding and willingness to work things out. I love both of you and wish you the best

Sincerely, Me

This song describes my night

I was in the front seat, shaking it out
And I was asking if you felt all right
I never want to hear the truth
I want to hear your voice, it sounded fine

I could feel my heartbeat taking me down
And for the moment, I would sleep all right
Veiny with a selfish fear
To keep me up another restless night

And I realized then you were perfect
With my teeth ripping out of my head
And it looked like a painting I once knew
Back when my thoughts were not the least intact

 

And I felt loved again

-Manchester Orchestra

warning. apathetic mode has been activated.

Am I happy?

In a word

Yes

Am I ready?

In two words

Absolutely not

how do you navigate in the dark?...

////////

well tonight I was sort of insulted. like ouch. she went there. it hurt. bandaid?

she knows i dont want to do this but i will. ive already ran faster than the speeding bullet and leapt the tall building in a single bound. but this is rough. wow. im such a dork for real. what is this post? what the heck...am i lamenting or something? hahaha. more like procrastinating and hoping i can switch over to matt... i know it wont be that bad if shes there but without her in that specific scene my mind explodes. so there. it adds familiarity to the unknown. thats all. my ears are ringing. i have work tomorrow. im broke. i have to drop stuff off at bcc again. im tired. i cant sleep. my left pinky finger just went numb. my phone says i have a 2 and a half hour sleep debt that i am unable to pay if i wanted to. and i lack the ambition to press the shift key. but guess what? im gonna sleep tonight. im gonna get up tomorrow. my ears wont be ringing. my pinky wont be numb. i will drop stuff off at bccfor the freaking millionth time. i will use the shift key. i will work my fingers to the freaking bone and earn money so i wont be broke. i will freaking call this guy and schedule a freaking meeting and everybody will be freaking happy again peaches n gravy.

peaches n gravy

-me