R.I.P. Newman (maybe?)

-Bad News:::My car is deadzees. It almost died at bcc. There was smoke everywhere and stuff. Drove it home, worked on it a little, ok its fine. Drove it to alyssas and back, no prob! Drove it to taco bell with jinje at 12:30, it practicaly explodes.... It was definitely overheated despite the fact that me and alyssa filled it up with water friday. It was a heck of an awkward call to my dad to ask him to come get me from taco bell. at 12:30...

-Good news:::Taco bell has a delicious new burrito that has fritos on it for a buck!!!!!!!!!!

-*sigh*

-Me

she makes me come alive, and makes me wanna drive when she says...

-caaaaaan you feeeel the looooooove tooooniiiiight

something soooomethiiiiing ooooooooohhhhhhhhh

daaaa daa daaaaaaaaaaaa da kings and vagabonds

na naaaa naaaaaaa somethiiiiiing toooooooo

-i really dont know the words to that song... I was more of an aladdin kid.

-so anyhow, i dropped drawing and i kept graphic design.

-hold on let me put on music.

-my dad is going to talk to pastor and get things in motion and soon I will be an official intern at FBCMims. Ill be learning the ropes on choir leading, pro-presenter on mac, and making a setlist and generaly everything else a worship leader does. I think as a side thing im taking over wednesday night worship myself.

-i have to learn how to sing. like really sing. sing good. i think if its where God wants me, he will help me be able to learn.

-the best song every written from a guys perspective about relationships. It describes how most guys feel in the relationship as well as what every guy wants in a girl. its raw insight into a guys mind. Kick it on and pretend its the 60s :)

-I believe that song was written by a guy about the girl of his dreams. shes supportive, she worries about him, she comforts him, she brings out all his best qualities and stands by his side.

-I swear that phrase is pure magic. Dont worry baby, everything will turn out alright. alyssa, memorize that and use it next time im worried or something lol!

-I wish whenever I said the word baby, my voice would magicaly be replaced by his... it sounds so smoothe and soft!

-not looking forward to tomorrow at all... wish i could fastforward to wednesday.

-me

confused.

-dont know what to write. everything seems ok.

-no. scratch that. hmmmmm...

-well. alot of things are great. a few things arent...

-i really wish i was making more money. to do that, you need a job that actually pays. you need a degree. you need to know people. you need a skill. i currently have none of these things but im trying to make it a priority.

-im toying with the idea of dropping out of school. at least dropping my classes while i can still get out relatively cheap. i dont want this degree. like at all. i dont want any degree at all but man alive i want a good paying job. you see my predicament here? the money making jobs are the ones where the degrees/jobs suck. the ones i actually want to do, dont pay. but then again life sucks. you dont get to have your cake and eat it too. not in life. you gotta do what you dont want to do.

-but what is progress for the sake of progress? its not a step forward. specially if i end up in debt because of it. then instead of a step sideways, its more of a step backwards. why didnt god give me a natural inclination for something like molecular biology or something that would put food on the table. not music. music is a dime a dozen. its cheap. why didnt i get something useful. an inclination towards medical would even be cool. but nope. i dont want anything to do with it. medical? no. engineering? nope. business? negative. i got nothin.

-I would so much rather do a job im happy with that doesnt pay much but that is sooooo frowned upon. your supposed to do a job you hate that breaks your back and come home to a beautiful women who massages you. at least thats what everyone does. alyssas parents are extremely financially driven.

-it would make perfect sense. the one thing i dont care about is the one thing they care about most. i can give her anything she wants. i will always love her and be there for her but that doesnt matter. she lives in a nice house and has a nice car. who needs love. she has her medical expenses covered.

-financial peace? i would rather be in debt up to my eyes and be in love.

-i wasnt raised like you. ends barely met. barely. love was emphasized. not something thats backburner to money. how could you possibly put money in front of love. it does not make sense. read, does not compute. read, blows my mind. i will never understand it.

-but if thats how it is. then where does that leave me? am i forced to get a crap job and just man up and deal with it? can i do something i love instead? is there middle ground?

-im really confused. i dont want to be stuck in date mode forever. im so beyond ready to get married. i want life to freakin happen already. i just wish i could figure out what to do... im gonna talk to you tomorrow about this. so please understand if i ask you to skip dancing so we can figure some of this out. i need life to change drasticaly and im willing to do whatever it takes. it just needs to be done. im tired of beating around the bush. i want a solid plan where i can say for absolute certain that i can have a good paying job and be financialy stable within this set amount of time. i want to be able to look you in the eyes and feel like im honestly doing everything i can to make this happen for us. right now though, i cant say that. you deserve more.

-me

breathe in, and sigh.....

I am rediculous...

:/

Friday

-I dont care if Mondays black

-Tuesday, Wednesday, heart attack

-Thursday, never looking back

-Its Friday, Im in Love!

-Saturday wait...

-Sunday always comes too late

-But Friday never hesitate

-Monday you can hold your head

-Tuesday, Wednesday, stay in bed

-Thursday, watch the walls instead

-Its Friday, Im in Love!


-The Cure/Me

New series: Music moments 1 and 2

Starting a new series called music moments. You know when you listen to a song and something completely unexpected happens and you almost have a mini heart-attack just listening in anticipation for the climax of that wonderful moment? Im cataloging a few of those moments and will do my best to describe the amount of wonderful delight I found within. As a note, these are in no particular order. Its not my favorite to least favorite or anything. So without further adue -

Music moment 1 - God is an Astronaut - Suicide by Star - 3:43



This song seems to be pretty mundane at first. Just solid drum beat and guitar riff rambling atop of synthesizers and an eery feeling of being lost in space. But like right at 2:53 everything gets slammed into fastforward as the astronaut on the video starts suffocating. Guitars slam on distortion and drummer gets a bit crazier but the real magic is at 3:43. The whole band in unision gets really angsty. The drummer kicks in 16th note reels giving the feeling of your heart racing while the guitars maintain the attacks on your ear drums. The synthesizer plays the hook wee-oooh line so perfectly and you feel like you could run a marathon or punch a hobo...



Music moment 2 - Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand in Mine - 4:40



Starting with reverby guitar line sounds cliche especially in post-rock music but its different because its explosions. They pretty much invented rock driven post-rock if that makes sense to anyone but myself. -_-... The guitar line is very serene and calming. Beautiful. Erupts into full band awesomeness at 1:15 which is fulfilling but only for a moment as they fade back out for the guitar to carry his loneliness a tad further. Then BAM! 2:29 sees a different guitar riff. Similar to the previous but somehow remolded. Reborn into something stronger, durable, with more potential. Guitar number 2 comes in with a suplement and the drummer with his cadence like snare helps push the song into a buildup. Around 4 minutes, the band gets into a swag that everyone is comfortable with. Second guitar player starts a quick picking line and gives the illusion that something is happening until our music moment number 2 happens. 4:40 Gives away to a huge shimmering guitar and a drum rolling backup that lifts your soul into an area you havent been in a while. Imagine you and the one you love jumping into eternal happiness together hand in hand.

clint eastwood

-Well today was a heck of a day!

-I think my favorite part was drawing stick figures with alyssa! Had a great time with her "and dan" at "burger king".

-The tacos were good...

-Um. tomorrow is my first day of college. im remaining neutral towards it. Im not anxious. Im not nervous. Im not dreading. Im just not feeling anything right now for college.

-I aint happy. Im feelin glad. I got sunshine in a bag. god im useless, but not for long, my future is comin on. -gorillaz/clint eastwood

-thats all i have right now

-Me

wait! i read it!

- i think i get what your trying to say.

- hope you sleep well

- i love you

- go easy on me. its new to me too.

-Me

Motherfucking Blue Like Jazz

-Stumbled on a friend of a relatives blog and he writtes poetryish stuff. Im posting one I found most intriguing... I think it dates back a little ways to like early last year explaining the Haiti Tsunami reference.

-Warning to the overly sensative to language type people, He uses profanity, get over it...

------------------


Motherfucking Blue Like Jazz
(Inspired by the twenty-something, bleeding heart, post-modern, turn-to-christ crowd. Note- "Divine Bang" in homage to Allen Ginsberg.)


You sit. Sit!
cushy chairs, crying for Jesus Christ.
You cry, cry.
Haiti! Tsunami! Bologna! Save them all.
from cushy church chairs.
Post Modern. Modern-Modern. Post-Punk,
Christian Hardcore - Porn.

You’ve lost me.
* * *

Jesus sits to the right hand of God
(Ginsberg’s Divine Bang)
“I swear,
these fuckers have lost their way.”
God nods off...
He continues-
“And don’t tell me they are sheep!
even sheep wouldn’t follow a post-modern
shepherd.”

God turns.
"I don't understand your
hippie babble."

Jesus mutters something about God
"Being so Old Testament..."
* * *
And we conclude with an
earthly conversation:

Define yourself-
-Well, I am a man
dreams and spirit?-
-No, flesh and blood
saved by grace.

No, sir, you don’t exist-

------------------------------


-Heres a link to his site http://andrewjamesjohns.blogspot.com/

-Read 'The Snake'

-Me

the unsuspecting witness chronicles

-Say you witness something. Or stumble accross information that you wish you never knew. You cant really unlearn it or wish it away. So you just block it out of your mind and never think of it again right? Pretend it never happened.

-But is that such a good idea?

-Perhaps you should confront the person? But what if it doesnt really matter anymore. Is it worth digging up old bones for the sake of getting it off your chest?

-It may not be pertinent. It might be. Specially if it affects someone you know and love. Or does it? What they dont know wont hurt them.

-I think maybe its that persons burden and not my own. Ill let them continue to deal with it as they see fit. I would imagine they wouldve taken the time to think it over to arrive at their own conclusion. So thats it then.

-Put it out of your mind. Easy as that? Well not easy. But it has to be done. Never think of it again. Bury it. Dont mark it with an X for later.

-Me

Welcome to Level 2

-Just downloaded all of Yo La Tengos discography and giving it a listen. So far so good :)

-Giving up mountain dew. again. should be easy.

-Finished Persons unknown. Its really good but the ending erked me because its set up perfectly for a sequel season without a guarantee that there will actually be a second season. A little less conspiracy setup than lost had going at the end but still oddly gripping.

-Going to outback tomorrow with friends and girlfriend! yay!!!

-So ive been having trouble sleeping lately. alot of trouble. Also some real creepy dreams... I cant seem to get to sleep but when I do, im out til like after noon. Aggrivating to say the least. In fact im blogging at 3am because i cant sleep! booooo :(

-Tonight was fun. Had a great time joking around with alyssa on my couch! hahaha

-Paul is an interesting character. Watching him and dan together is pretty freaking hilarious to be honest.

-Its so hot in my house. The fan is running on medium which is the most tolerable speed to noise ratio.

-(this paragraph deleted because censoring it would take too long...)

-ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm so much garbage going through my head right now. for example:

-I want to go to a theme park. really bad. I havent been to one in a long time it feels. Islands of adventure anyone? Harry potter universe thing is there and so is marvel superhero island! That would be so much fun to go there.

-(deleted this one too...)

-(and this one. there are some things noone needs to know but me.)

-erm. cant think of anything else to type in. goodnight

-Me

Yo La Tengo

-Ive been without my computer for like a whole week. I hate to sound like one of those technology addiction issue people but man I reaaaally like my laptop.

-Life is good.

-Have to work tomorrow and im kinda not wanting to.

-I had to move the model home today. Its a home in the great outdoors that they use for hooking people to buy a house if they are unsure. The house is fully furnished with HFs rediculously overpriced, somewhat falsely represented furniture. So yeah we moved a house today. 4 loads. And its literally right across the street so its not like we got a break or anything to drive. Got it all done in 7 hours so at 8 bucks an hour thats like 50 bucks after taxes. boooooo.

- :(

-Mom and Dad are out. They left for music florida conference in orlando. Mom will be back wednesday and dad will be back friday. Angelina is with the Willis'. So me and jinje got the house except for g-ma and lisa. So basically jinje has the house minus the tv...

-I miss alyssa.

-Im hearing strange noises in my house... Its eerie

-Its not so much that im a clingy person, its just that I want her around. I guess that only comes with marriage huh? rats... I am very much a family man. I want a family and to do things with a family. And dont say 'but you have a family...'

-need music badly brb...

-yo la tengo - You can have it all. Nifty little jingle here. alot of 'buh buh buhbuh' vocal stuff in the background. pretty cool sounding. very layed back without trying to be layed back... if that makes sense...

-note to self: download more yo la tengo

-singing off. byebye

-Me